A Christmas Pie

Guess which one I am

I write this sitting on the blue couch that was in our Kentucky farm house and has been transplanted to Cleveland. The wreckage of Christmas is around me--crumpled paper, presents, and a bottle of wine I occasionally sip from. This day has been characterized by board games, cooking, and drinking.

Last night we went to a Christmas Eve service. We heard about the World War I Christmas Truce, where soldiers stopped their fighting for one day to exchange souvenirs, cigarettes, and sing Christmas carols together. It was an incredible moment of peace, where the people actually doing the fighting recognized each other's humanity, and then the next day went back to killing each other. The service, for one out of practice with church-going, was almost intolerably long. I scribbled on my bulletin: "Must practice patience, stillness, breathing, listening," and then the sermon was all about that. A long, long version of that.

I had decided to make this pie weeks ago, without really looking at the recipe. It's a Christmas pie. Here's the recipe, with my edits in bold. Merry Christmas. Safe to assume I love you, or I would if I got to know you.

Soundtrack: Sylvan Esso and Sturgill Simpson

1 9-inch Nut Crust ("Your delicious nut crust" Howard entitled an email he sent me with a picture of this recipe, which still makes me laugh, but gross)

1/2 c. sugar
1 envelope unflavored gelatin
3 eggs, separated
1 3/4 cups milk
1/4 cup chopped candied brandied cherries

3 tablespoons light rum or 2 teaspoons vanilla extract no
whipped topping in aerosol can no

EARLY IN DAY OR DAY BEFORE SERVING OR LIKE AT FIVE THIRTY, AN HOUR BEFORE DINNER, WHICH IS WAY TOO LATE BY THE WAY: Prepare piecrust in the process burning out the coffee grinder, then chopping the nuts by hand, and bake crust for 8 minutes, or until you realize the timer has stopped for some reason, using Brazil nuts pecans; cool. Meanwhile, in medium saucepan, stir 1/4 cup sugar with gelatin until mixed. In small bowl, with wire whisk or hand beater, beat egg yolks with milk until mixed; stir into gelatin mixture. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring, until mixture is thickened and coats spoon at point of curdling; remove from heat. Refrigerate Freeze, because there isn't much time, until mixture mounds when dropped from spoon, about 40 minutes. Yes, still about forty minutes, for some insane reason. WHY DOES THIS TAKE SO LONG?
At this point, you are 1.4 beers in on an empty stomach, so it's getting a little harder to manage your smaller motor skills. With hand beater, beat mixture until smooth, stir in cherries and rum.
In small bowl, with mixer at "high" speed, beat egg whites until soft peaks form you've had enough. Beating at "high" speed, gradually sprinkle in 1/4 cup sugar, beat until sugar is completely dissolved. With wire whisk or rubber spatula, gently fold whites into gelatin mixture. Spoon filling into crust; refrigerate freeze until set Scrooged is over, about 4 hours 101 minutes.